~ (TILDE)

I’m parting the sea between brightness and me
Before I drown myself
And everyone and everything
I got my hands behind my back
With two fingers overlapped
Because I can never keep my word
And I share with the undeserved
For some cheap acceptance in return
The water will shape the sides
I’ll walk with my head held high
And when it all comes crashing in
It will be worth it
If I’m still breathing
If actions speak louder than words
I’m the most deafening noise you’ve heard
I’ll be that ringing in your ears
That will stick around for years

PATHFINDER

I feel what's best for everyone
Is to forget about me when I'm gone
Because it hurts to be missed
And no one is deserving this
With my back to a hardwood floor
I understand that
I'm not a provider but a center divider
I've got lanes to explain the different ways I behave
A life thats a detour
To where I am not sure
But if the sun is in my eyes
I think I’m doing the right thing
I rely on exit signs
And destination times
And this drive that knows me better
Than I think I know myself
With that being said
I wont play pretend
That I'm not growing up
That I'm not giving in
Late nights and all night drives
Are reminders why I’m alive
And I'm not going anywhere

THE GREAT REPETITION

With intermission ending
The finale is approaching
It's not what you're expecting
Because you're all involved
Now will you take your seats
And be quiet please
I need all eyes on me
As I try to explain
This is my final act so I'll need your full attention
And for my final trick
I'll make everyone who loves me disappear
But I won't know how to bring them back
Alone I'll stand on this stage
No one to care
Myself to blame
An act with no conclusion
That's me up there
That's me: repetition

ART OFFICIAL

Retracing my steps in hopes to find
Some trace of me
That may be somewhere left behind
There’s a fear
There’s a point
There is a problem
What if what I find won’t solve them
And I wonder why I have no motivation
I guess I just answered my own question
I’m not the golden boy so don’t shine me on
I’m the bastard son of romantic babylon
With veins that are all fashioned out of copper
A past design not destined to be concurred
But like anything there is a flaw inscripted deep
That may explain everything

UPPERS / DOWNERS

You won’t find me buried in a notebook
I’ll be the one that’s self crucified
Because I did this to myself
I hammered my own nails
While I exclaim
I’m not a poet to inspire
I barely made it through the expectations of myself
And everything I do
To look up to me is to look down on everything

CRUTCH

You said I’m always on the go
How nice of you to notice
A toast to all those broken homes
Everyone I know is a fortress
I kiss ellipsis
A fork in all my one way roads
I sit to see what happens
But apathy is easy for me
So I’ll accept this challenge
I don't know how to help myself up
Your pressure is bending my crutch
If this thing breaks, it's the end of us both
But I like the sound of that

METHOD ACT

Don’t ask me why
Have you ever wondered why I always drive alone?
Same reasons why I never pick up my phone
I got these issues that you can’t subscribe
And I’m scared to talk to anyone for what they might prescribe
These days I just try to keep to myself
Well aware I’ve lost touch with everyone else
I understand that I’m fading away
I’d rather play dead than play catch up
Because no one really cares all that much
I can’t keep having the same conversations
I look to the floor to keep concentration
Focused hard on every single word
My nails are dug deep and my stomach hurts
I am selfish it seems
But I’m trying my best to breathe
Hoping you don’t notice as I keep laughing

FACE GHOST

There is weight in the words we’ve said
Too heavy to carry in our heads
There’s a chance that I thought had gone
But here we are, playing along
I admit I’m scared
So fragile
Emotionally impaired (hopeless)
Damaged goods
So broken
So misunderstood (reckless and careless)
And I can see
That rain cloud that follows me
Looks like the one that follows you
And the same ghosts that keep me awake
Haunt your nights just the same
All dressed up in black and grey
We know each other just the same
And every mile that sits between
Won’t understand what it means
To have one look mean everything
And throw all caution to the sea
I have faith in us if we don’t self destruct

SESAME

If you’re looking for a place
To hang your head in shame
The light is always on
So come on in
My eyes are too big for my stomach
It can’t process all that I do
A rich diet of endless endeavors
At the expense of me and you
There’s a thousand reasons why I can’t open up
Every combination is one turn off
There’s no rest for the weak
I need a week’s rest desperately

WANTS / NEEDS

With headphones on the streets are silenced
Cars hum along to disrupt the quiet
You learn a lot about a place
When you see it without a sun
You search for a shred of innocence
But realize there is none
The open gutters
Collecting water
The unbreathable air
We’re all aware
You learn a lot about a place
When you see it for what it is
It loses it feel of mystery
And any hope that is can give
Give me a reason not to just start screaming out loud
You can't convince me
What I want and what I need are separate things
All those distractions they’ll beg us to stay
We’ll give new meaning to running away

CONDOLENCES

If you fantasize about your funeral
I understand I’ve been there before
If what's more important
Is the music played
Than who’d attend
We are the same
With heads to the ground
As I'm lowered down
There will be a chorus
An overwhelming sound

HOME AWAY FROM HERE

I’m coming to terms that I’m not concerned
With planting my feet but looking onward
I’m growing older but I cant get over
The need of colder skin when I know that home is warmer
It's just that I have this problem
Where I want to be everywhere I’m not
I’m thankful for what I’ve got
A room in a house where my bed may stay
But the feel of another’s sheets help keep my demons away
It’s become clear that what keeps me here
Is the sense of failure and other nightmares
I’ve become jaded and I can’t escape it
The thought of settling when I know it's what I’ve hated
It's just I have this problem
Where I want to be everywhere I’m not
It's just I know myself and I’ll sacrifice everything I’ve got
Though I can’t afford to eat as much as I should be
And my bills won’t pay themselves so I’ll come up with another scheme
This place looks better from a passenger window
Or stared at from above
But when you’re chasing brightness
You lose concern with the damage done
It's not my fault
I’ll try to call
No ties no roots I'm fine.

AMENDS

What have I seen other than what the bottom looks like?
Stuck somewhere between the gloom and the light
When you’re working towards building back those broken boards
You sometimes lose your footing
You often find yourself putting off everyone
While finding comfort in other songs
To distract the fact that you’re actually disappearing
I have no excuses that I can offer
Just the hope that your forgiveness will hold back the water
For what its worth
I’m sorry
And at the end I swear I’m trying